WHAT PARENTS CAN DO WHEN THEIR CHILD SAYS SHE IS BEING BULLIED

It's not easy for a parent when their child tells them they are being bullied. Here are some ideas to help you help your child.

1. Listen and give them your full attention. Don't be dismissive or minimize the social turmoil of their world with comments like "Just ignore it." or "Deal with it. Kids are mean." Chances are your child has tried to deal with it on their own already and they really need your help now.
2. Empathize with them. Friendships are a big deal in their world. A fundamental early adolescent milestone is trying to achieve balance and a sense of belonging within a group. This period of time can be fraught with insecurities and pain.
3. Calm them by physically closing the space around them with protective hugs and caring touch.
4. Don't inflame their feelings with your own outrage. Interjecting your feelings and telling your child how awful things are can actually make things worse, not make them feel better about the situation. Helping them to take a step back and putting things into perspective will do much more for them.
5. Recognize, accept, and then validate their need to belong to a group. Reinforce that this is more about the aggressor's problems and not about theirs. Help them understand that this is a power play by the bully.
6. Need more assistance? For more specific advice, adults and girls can contact Eliza Zipper, Advocacy and Critical Issues Coordinator, at 516.741.2550 x254.

WHAT ADULTS CAN DO ABOUT BULLYING

Bullying hurts everyone.  To make a space safe for everyone, we must all work together.  Here are 5 things you can do:

1. Always RESPOND to meanness when you see it happen.  Name calling, teasing, taunting, excluding others, gossiping and rumor spreading are all gateway behaviors to more serious bullying.
2. When you ADDRESS gossip, rumors, mean words and actions early, you can stop most bullying.
3. HELP kids sharpen their talking skills and increase their empathy.  Often they can cool down a situation that might be heating up.
4. START YOUNG.  Kids who get what they want by bullying are more likely to continue to do it.  Kids (and adults) do what works.
5. Encourage “TELLING.”  Telling helps someone who is in trouble, physically or emotionally, to get out of trouble.  “Tattling” gets someone into trouble.  Help kids learn the difference. 
6. Bring in an objective third party, like Girl Scouts of Nassau County, to talk to your girls, educators, parents, coaches, or community members about bullying. Take a look at our programs or contact Eliza Zipper, Advocacy and Critical Issues Coordinator, at 516.741.2550 x254.

The Friendship Project:  Helping Today's girls form healthy peer relationships

Girls will be girl BULLIES; quietly and secretively.  It's called social bullying and it's a covert form of peer aggression flying beneath the radar of nearby adults, including parents and teachers.  Read more...