Gossip, Rumors, and the Two-Part Telephone Game

By Jane Balvanz, MSE, RPT

Kids LOVE to play the Telephone Game! This game can be used as a lesson to help girls understand the impact of gossip and rumors.

The traditional Telephone Game is played with a group of children, preferably with a number between 15 – 25 participants. One person starts with a simple message and whispers it into the next person’s ear. The process continues until the last person announces the message she heard. The message is then compared to the original message. Of course, the final message has morphed from the original.

The Two-Part Telephone Game begins like the classic game, but is started with an emotionally charged message, such as . With co-ed groups I like to use: It’s said that girls are smarter than boys (or vice versa). After the message travels through the group and the first and last messages are compared, provide the following worksheet to the kids. This is Part 2.

Telephone Game: How Words Change Accidentally and On Purpose

Put a check mark by the numbers that best explain what happened to you when you played the telephone game.

1. I listened the best I could.
2. I was anxious to pass the information on, so I might not have listened the best I could.
3. I asked for the words to be repeated when I couldn’t hear them.
4. I got frustrated trying to figure out the message, so I passed along the words the best I could.
5. I changed the message on purpose just for fun.
6. I changed the message on purpose, because I thought the other person got the message wrong. I changed it to what I thought it should be.
7. I didn’t want to pass the message along, because I didn’t think the message was correct.
8. I thought the message was hurtful, but I passed the message on anyway.
9. I thought the message was hurtful, so I changed the words.
10. I only passed the message along because I was forced to do so.

The girls are NOT to put their names on their worksheets, because honest answers are desired. After collecting their completed work, write the numbers 1 – 10 on a chalkboard or large piece of paper so the girls can easily see it. Write the number of check marks each question received next to the corresponding number. Talk about gossip and rumors as they relate to each number.

Here’s a sample of what girls can learn with the Two-Part Telephone Game.

• Some people like to listen to rumors and gossip.
• Some people like to pass on gossip and rumors.
• Information passed on may not be exactly the way things happened.
• Messages change from person to person the more the story is told.
• Some people are careful to get the information right and some people aren’t.
• Even when people don’t understand the gossip or rumors, some people pass them along anyway.
• There are different agendas for spreading gossip and rumors.
• You may never know why a message changes from mouth to mouth.
• Incorrect information gets passed along all the time.
• It’s important to verify ANY second hand information.
• Hurtful messages often travel faster than other information.
• IMPORTANT: There are intentional and unintentional consequences to our words and actions.
• IMPORTANT: Our words can have powerful influences on ourselves and others.

Optional Activity: The girls have experienced the negative impact their words can have. Think about exploring the positive power of their words. Try the following activities

• Develop a list of uplifting quotes from your favorite cartoons, books, or movies. Tell the girls to pick their own favorite quotes and then ask them to explain their choice. Talk about how each quote makes the group feel.
• Tape a paper plate on each girl's back. Tell them to walk around the room and write positive comments about each girl on her plate. After everyone has finished, tell them to look at the comments on their plates and share their favorites.
• Try your own ideas and let us know how they work!

Activity adapted from A Way Through, LLC.

Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com